Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Micro blog: Changing Schedules

I have picked up a new job and gotten into the habit of attending school daily. On top of this, summer is starting soon and I will be very busy with family obligations. None of this means that I'm going to be leaving my blog - just that the schedule is changing. I will now be posting only twice a week, once on Tuesday and once on Thursday.

Anyway, I have a lot of reviews coming up. We'll be looking at some games from Kheper Games, a massive new toy from Primal Hardwere, a new cock ring from We-Vibe, and some amazing little toys that I didn't expect to love as much as I do. I'll also be making a post about some things I have crossed off my bucket list as well as updating my bucket list!

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Powerful, Little Bullet: The We-Vibe Tango Review

Introduction

It can be hard to find a good bullet. Some take watch batteries, others take triple a's - but I have found that these die quickly and eat through batteries like crazy! Personally, I prefer a rechargeable bullet, but even those have their drawbacks. When I purchase a new bullet I want one that is strong, rumbly, rechargeable, and waterproof. Yeah, I know I am picky - blame my clit.  

We-Vibe has always been one of my favorite toy manufacturers, and I have been lusting after their Tango for years now. I finally bought one! Well, my boyfriend bought one for me.  We-Vibe strives to provide fun and innovative couples and solo toys made with body-safe material! I have already reviewed their Sync (and I absolutely love it!) so I had high expectations for their Tango.

What is the We-Vibe Tango?

The Tango is a small, waterproof, rechargeable, powerful bullet vibe. To me, it looks like a lipstick and fits perfectly in my purse. Which is where I keep it most of the time. The charger for it is a bit weird, but I will get to that later. When I say little, I mean it is only 3.5 inches long and 0.7 inches wide. It is not made for insertion, but can be inserted a bit, and should never be used in your butt! (Please do not stick things in your butt that do not have flared bases.)

Anyway, the Tango has a mighty little motor inside of it that delivers the most robust and rumbly vibrations I have ever found in a vibrator. No kidding, this thing rivals the Original Magic Wand! It is made from Body-safe ABS thermoplastic and latex, with small metal contacts on the bottom. The other end of it is tapered (like a lipstick!) for pinpoint stimulation. 

What Features Does the Tango Have?

As I mentioned before, the Tango is waterproof and rechargeable. The charger is two little metal connections on the bottom of the toy that connect to the charger. The charger itself comes in two pieces. It is a micro-USB cable and a magnetic connector. I find this annoying because the connector can easily be lost. But because of the method used to charge it, you can completely submerge the Tango without worrying about it messing up the toy.

On top of my two favorite features in any toy, it also has 8 vibration modes. These modes include four steady speeds, low, medium, high, ultra. It also includes four patterns, tease, wave, pulse, and cha-cha. It can go for almost two hours on low, but only about 45 minutes on high. It does have a lower power alert to warn you before things go south. 

How Do You Use the We-Vibe Tango?

The Tango is really simple, especially compared to the Sync. When you first get the toy you should charge it for about two hours before using it. When I got mine it was nearly dead, so I had to wait to play with it. Thankfully, I was out on a date with my boyfriend and we left it to charge in the truck. 

There is a single push button on the bottom of the toy that cycles through the eight modes. If you hold down the button for a couple of seconds to turn it off, it will save the last setting you were on. Otherwise, you should cycle through all of the patterns until it cuts off. It cuts off after the cha-cha and will restart at low when you turn it back on. 

What Comes in the Box?

I love We-Vibe's boxes almost as much as I love their toys. They're well made with sturdy cardboard and have a sleek, luxury look to them. They are not discreet, so I wouldn't just leave the box laying around, but I do use it for storage. When you open the Tango's box you will find the toy sitting in a foam cutout and a little pull-out flap under that where the other things are stored. In the box are:
  • The We-Vibe Tango
  • The Micro-USB Charging Cord
  • The Charging Connector
  • A HUGE Silk Pouch
  • A Users Manual
  • And An Authentification Card

Pros

  1. Powerful - This is the most powerful bullet vibrator that I have ever come across. It helps that it is rumbly opposed to being buzzy. Buzzy bullet vibes tend to have a bite that this one does not. 
  2. Rechargeable & Waterproof - These are my two favorite features in any toy! Of course, these are going to be included in my pro/con list.
  3. Button - I love that the button is located on the bottom of the toy. While it can be difficult to change when things really get going, it usually is easy to control and work with.
  4. Small - The Tango is so small that I can take it anywhere with me, easily hide it, and it fits perfectly between my lips during sex.
  5. Quiet - I didn't mention this before, but the Tango is impressively quiet for the amount of power it packs!

Cons

  1. Powerful - Yes, this is a pro and con. The Tango is so powerful that it can easily make my clit go numb and, personally, I can't apply it directly to my clit to start off with. I usually start on the lowest setting with panties on. 
  2. Charging Connector - This is the most annoying feature of the toy. I hate that there is a cord and a charging connecter. It is so easy to lose small pieces and this is no exception. 
  3. Slippery - When you get really wet or use a lot of lube with the Tango it can get very slippery. There is no place to grip the toy and it is pretty smooth without it being 
  4. Battery Life - As I mentioned before, with a two-hour charge you will get two hours of play on low or about 45 minutes of play on high. I understand that the battery is small and impressive for the amount of power the toy can supply, but it sucks that I have to charge the toy so often.
  5. Heat - This is another one I didn't mention before, but after using the Tango for around ten minutes it can get pretty heated. It doesn't get uncomfortably hot, but the temperature of the toy does change enough to notice. 
~*~
This review contains affiliate links.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Toxic Jealousy vs. Protectiveness

Jealousy, the overly romanticized and normalized green eyed monster. It seems these days I cannot log into my facebook without seeing some naive person posting about how jealousy means you really love someone. I am so tired of the memes "your girl doesn't love you if she doesn't get jealous" or "my girl can only have three male friends: the father, the son, and the holy ghost." This is a form of abuse. It is an unpopular opinion, but if you are controlling any part of your significant others life (including who they can and cannot be friends with) you are abusive.

In a previous post I went over the three types of jealousy:

  • Your needs aren't being met.
  • You aren't communicating properly.
  • And ownership.
The type of jealousy I began this post ranting about is ownership, and that is why it irritates me so badly to see it being normalized. You cannot own another person. You cannot own another person. You cannot own another person. 

While it is perfectly fine to feel protective over your significant other, saying they can or cannot do something based on your feelings is unhealthy. You can discuss why you do not want your partner to have friends of the opposite gender, but you cannot go on their facebook and make them delete all of their friends. You can talk about why you aren't comfortable with your significant other hanging out with someone in particular, but you cannot ban them from doing so. 

Let me give an example, I dated this guy, M1, back in 2015 and was deeply in love with the idea of being with him. PolyHubby saw that M1 was using me and that although I had thoroughly convinced myself that everything was okay, it was not okay.

M1 was in a bad place and that doesn't excuse how he treated me, but it explains why he treated me the way he did. He and I had a very unhealthy relationship, but I wanted to be with him so badly that I ignored all the red flags. 

Instead of banning me from being with M1, PolyHubby talked to me about the behaviors he was seeing and why they concerned him. PolyHubby could have gone a completely different direction with this, banning me from talking to M1, fighting with me about wanting to be with M1, but it was healthier for our relationship for him to talk to me about it. 

In this situation, PolyHubby was feeling protective of me because I was in a bad place. It is not the same as jealousy, but you can see where he handled it how I am suggesting you handle your protective feelings. You don't have to be jealousy and controlling to be protective. You don't have to own someone and monitor their every move if you love them.

Jealousy is, most of the time, unhealthy and presents itself in unhealthy ways. Can we please stop trying to normalize it? 

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Identifying Jealousy & How To Deal

Polyamory and monogamy seem very different when you compare the two. With polyamory you have more than one partner, you don't ride the relationship escalator, and more communication is expected between all of the partners. But despite their obvious differences, the emotions you experience in each type of relationship are very similar. The emotion that causes the biggest issue in either relationship type is jealousy. 

Jealousy is just an emotion, it isn't a personality trait that you should let run rampant, it isn't a personal flaw that you should just accept. It is an emotion that you should learn to control, but we will discuss that later. Knowing the different types of jealousy and how to deal with each one can help strengthen your relationship and become a better person!

Monday, May 8, 2017

How a First Date Is Like a Job Interview

I wrote this as a school paper, and during my research was encouraged to post it. I was a little skeptical about posting it, but figured what the hell! It isn't great and isn't my best writing, but I made a high grade on it and think you guys might find it a little humorous. 
While one cannot ask the common interview question of “What are the opportunities for advancement?” on a first date, it is a question they should consider before jumping into a new relationship. This subject is just one of the many similarities between a job interview and a first date. When going to either type of event, one is going to decide on their future, going to ask many questions, and probably do a bit of research on the person they are going out with or company they are going to interview with before the occasion. 

Friday, May 5, 2017

Online Dating from a Polyamorous Perspective

No one really likes online dating. There are creeps, catfishers, liars, fuck boys, deceptive women, and a million other reasons why it flat out sucks most of the time. You can find a plethora of articles online detailing why everyone hates it, most of the reasons repetitive. The reasons vary from app to app, from gender to gender, and even from sexuality to sexuality.

Tinder is flooded with people just wanting to fuck. Join MeetMe or Badoo and you'll drown in dick pics (I have even gotten unwanted pussy pics!). On OkCupid, you are met with checklists of qualifications and expectations you are to meet in order to even talk to someone! As a polyamorous woman in the online dating world, it comes with its own set of reasons to absolutely despise it.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

March Goal Recap & New Goals for May (Yeah, we skipped April)

March 

As I mentioned in my April Shower, May Flowers post I kind of did well on my March goals, but not really.

Blog


  •  100 views per page - I did not reach this goal. Mainly because I did not share them as I had planned. 
  • Make $1,200 in affiliate marketing & online writing - Again, I did not reach this goal. For the month of March, I made only about $1,000.
  • Write 1 erotic piece for the blog - I did not meet this goal because I did not post much during April.
  • Prewrite 3 Blog Posts Every Sunday for Each Week - Again, I did not post much during April. 

Monday, May 1, 2017

Link Roundup: My Favorite Posts From April 2017

This post was supposed to go live this morning at 4 am, but I didn't write it yesterday as I had planned. Why?  You ask. Well, dear reader, life sucks. As you may remember back in March, my three-year-old broke his arm (among other crazy things). We got the cast taken off Friday before last (April 21st), and he has been doing great.

Well... Saturday, my five-year-old fell off his bunk bed and broke his arm! He had to have surgery on it Sunday morning to pin everything back together. So, please forgive me for not being on time with this post. Life has been crazy lately and I haven't been able to emotionally handle it all and stay on top of my obligations.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

April Showers Bring May Flowers

In this case, that means all the trouble I have had in April will hopefully bring beauty in May. If you are still around and still excited to get emails from me, I thank you. This past month as been full of ups and downs for my family and me. Mostly downs. So if you have been visiting the blog, following my on twitter, or checking up on me (I see you Anna Rae, @thecumpanion), thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

Some things you can expect in May are new reviews, erotica highlights, new articles on polyamory (I have a lot to tell you guys about this!), and much more. In the month of April I have entered a new relationship, strengthened my marriage, and finally, finally, got my hands on the We-Vibe Tango. Also, I have been working with a fantastic client in my freelance writing and reading some pretty good new blogs.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Another Update

Dear Readers,

I am going to have to take a step back from my blog. In the past week and a half, my family has been through three traumatic and emotional events.

  • My uncle overdosed on Xanax. Thankfully, he is okay and home now. But he was in a coma for a couple of days and was hospitalized. During that time my aunt, his wife, was arrested. 
  • My mother's landlord died a couple of weeks ago, and his wife decided this week that she is going to evict all tenants instead of continuing to rent out to them. My mother is disabled and moving is going to be difficult for her.